Breaking The Code

Last week, the Governor vetoed the latest Legislative attempt to fix the state budget.  Communication between the 9th floor and the legislature has never been good and the Governor isn't exactly on the best terms Appropriations Chairmen Sen. Bob Burns or Rep. Russell Pearce, so negotiations are at an impasse.

I just received the Governor's Weekly Message and I believe that Governor Napolitano is using her weekly blast email in order to secretly communicate with the Chairmen.  Her original message is in black and my decoded translation is in blue. 

Dear Friends,

Bob and Russell.                                                    

Foreclosure rates are high in Arizona and across the country – many Arizonans have family or friends in fear of losing their homes.

State Revenues are in the dumper and you guys can’t balance the budget.

A feeling of powerlessness is common among these homeowners, who may feel there’s nothing they can do if they start to fall behind on their mortgages.

You guys understand that “feeling of powerlessness.”  After all, I’m the only one who can cut the current budget.  All you can do is whine about  bankruptcy.

Help us get the word out: This isn’t the case. If you or someone you know is in this situation, please take a minute to learn about steps that can be taken. 

Yeah, maybe you guys should have a caucus or something.

First and most importantly, people falling behind should call their mortgage lender to talk to them about possible options.

Call your “lender” not your “banker”.  Our banker is that Chicken Little State Treasurer Dean Martin.  He keeps whining that we are going to run out of money.  “The sky is falling; the sky is falling.”  He really pisses me off.

Many borrowers are afraid to call their mortgage lenders when they start falling behind. They shouldn’t be.

Dude, we aren’t even bonding for operating expenses yet.  I mean, a developer friend of mine told me we could get an interest only, adjustable rate, balloon payment loan with no money down and no payments for two years.  How could we go wrong with that?

Calling one’s mortgage lender is probably the most important step a borrower in trouble can take to help avoid losing a home to foreclosure.

Have I mentioned that you should call your lender?  That’s a subliminal message…. “must borrow more money…”  “you are feeling sleepy, buy popcorn, must borrow more money.”  But don’t call Dean Martin, that guy doesn’t know the “real” numbers.  That's because the real numbers are in my sock drawer next to my Jefferson Airplane tapes and the donor list for the Project for Arizona's Future.

I have spoken to all of the major lenders in Arizona, and most of the time, they would rather re-negotiate a mortgage to find a fixed rate that allows a borrower to pay what he or she owes, rather than force a borrower into foreclosure.

Lenders are very happy to hear from me—after all, I want to borrow 2.4 billion dollars and I’m getting really desperate.  But, I don’t call Dean Martin because he’s—you know—a side player.

This way, the mortgage lender continues to be paid, and the homeowner stays in his or her home.

Dang right they get paid… and paid and paid baby.  Pretty soon they own the whole dang state.  The Constitution says we can only borrow $300,000 but the Constitution is a "living" document and if Obama puts me on the Supreme Court, I'll show you how alive that document can be. 

We have seen a high success rate when borrowers take the initiative and call their lenders – so it’s important that those falling behind take this critical step.

Don't call Dean Martin, but if you see him, make sure to tell him that he’s not invited to my birthday party. 

There is some other help available to borrowers falling behind. There are credit counselors at the HOPE NOW program who are available through the hotline at 1-888-995-4673. These credit counselors can talk to homeowners about their situation and their options.

I called and asked for advice and they told me to cut up my credit cards and stop spending money.  Yeah right.

I said that my plan was to have the agencies spend this year’s appropriations as fast as they could and then we would borrow $2.4 billion and do it again next year.  They didn’t like that plan.  Those guys really piss me off.

Of course, people who take these routes will still have to pay their mortgages.

D’oh. 

Well, actually the NEXT Governor will have to pay the mortgages.  It better not be  Dean Martin.  He’s a poopy head.

But they may be able to find help in keeping their mortgage rates affordable, and therefore keeping their homes.

Speaking of homes, have you noticed that home prices in the D.C. area have been falling sharply.  Hmm.

You can always call my office 602-542-1318 for any of this information, or if you have questions or thoughts.

Well, actually, you guys can call with questions, I’m not interested in “thoughts.”  That’s because all you guys ever say is “cut spending.” And “we’re running out of money”.  You sound like that chicken little, sideline player, poopy head Dean Martin.  Have I mentioned that he really pisses me off?

Information on HOPE NOW is available at www.hopenow.com.

Information on MY PLAN is available “Bankruptstate.com”

Also, you can visit my Web site at www.azgovernor.gov for information and news in state government.

Isn’t that a great domain name?  I bought it with personal money so I can keep it forever. 

Yours very truly,

And the Horse you Rode in on. 

Janet Napolitano

Her Royal Highness, Duchess of Arizona Janet Napolitano.  Defender of the Children, Drainer of the Treasury, Giver to the Poor, Protector of the Establishment. 

Comments

[Carol]

Great post Greg! The only thing you forgot to weave in is a reference to that mortgage guy on KFYI who promises to convert your ARM to a fixed with no fees or closing costs, the "greatest no-brainer in the history of the world." This reminds me of accounting tricks and borrowing instead of cutting spending.

How does he stay in business with that magnanimous spirit?

[keithjonesblog]

Nice, very nice.

Why is the governor giving tips to people who MIGHT be in trouble financially when our/her state IS in trouble.

Come on, governor.

[ron]

My wife and I experienced first hand today what happens as the state budget goes into the tank. We decided to take the Horseshoe cut-off from the Bartlett lake Road this morning. There is a little sign that says that this road is not for low cars as the road is 'not maintained'. Well, the rains this winter have about taken out the road and when my wife tried to renegoiate our route, we ended up in a deep hole. After two two trucks about 3 hours we got out of our predicatment. MSCO officers who came by help along (called a second tow truck after first one broke down) told us that the road is rapidly deterioating each day and that it will be virtually impassable in a year except for well equipped 4X4s. The MSCO currently uses only a very well equipped new Ford 4x4 on the road. The officers predicted that forest roads in this state would all fall into the same condition in the next year if the trends continue. I believe they are right.

Many years ago, too many too remember, my wife and I drove our regular little VW over that same road - no problems. Those days are over apparently.

Nothing like testing out the state of State of Arizona budget on an Easter Monday Morning :)