You can leave your hat On

I turn 45 this month which can only mean one thing; it's time to read the Great Gatsby again.  Guys my age all read Gatsby in high school and we all hated it.  At the time it seemed like a book about drunk people who drive back and forth from Long Island to the City, past a billboard with glasses on it that had some sort of deep significance.    Most adults re-read Gatsby because even though it's supposed to be the Great American Novel they hated it in high school and they wonder if it will somehow touch them now that they have the wisdom of a few years behind them.  Besides that, it's short.

I'm reading it because I need a hat. 

When my dad got old he bought a Gatsby hat.  Actually, I think he got it free with five gallons of Sinclair paint.  It was about 1978 and I remember that the Gatsby hat looked cool on top of his toupee.  It recently hit me that in 1978 my dad was 40. 

It's not a big deal that I remember my dad at 40, what really scares me is that I remember my father-in-law at 40.  Back then, he and my dad both seemed so stable, confident and grown up.  Somewhere between my father in law's 40th birthday and his triple bypass, I got older too.  Now I realize that they had the same frailties and insecurities that I do.

That's why I need a hat. 

Every day it seems like I apply the suntan lotion higher on my forehead.  Fortunately, I have plenty of hair on top.  I pointed that out to my son and he responded that it was pretty thick but looked...you know...combed over.  Since modern kids have never actually seen a comb, they don't really know what "combed over" means.  It's like "kit and Caboodle," they understand the term, but not the underlying words.  My son's comment brought memories of my dad's toupee flooding back, so I cut my hair short and threw away my comb.  So now the sun shines through, and it's not like you can put sunscreen in your hair.  So I understand the conundrum my father faced when he was forty.  That's why I finally admire his choice of the Gatsby hat.

Now I have the same conundrum. Sure, I have plenty of baseball caps.  I usually wear a denim hat that I bought at the Brighton store at that outlet mall on the way to LA.  It says "World's Greatest Dad" and looks ridiculous on me.  The only thing that looks more ridiculous on me is a Gatsby hat. 

If I'm going to look ridiculous, I'm going to do it with my own style, so I decided to buy a Frank Sinatra Fedora.  If my dad had the guts to wear a Gatsby hat at 40, I can wear Sinatra hat at 45. 

I didn't want just any Fedora; nothing looks worse than a cheap hat.  Fortunately, I found one at Target for $14.  I was walking around Target with my new hat (I left the tag on in case I chickened out)  and I ran into my wife in housewares. She looked at me, speechless, but I'm sure it was in a good way.   I asked her what would go with the hat.  She said... "a machine gun."  I was trying for Sinatra and I got Abramoff, or maybe Al Capone.

Everyone else seems to like my hat.  I was at the library copying Christian CDs onto my laptop when I noticed a girl of about 14 holding her phone in a strange way.  It took a few minutes for me to realize that she was video taping me.  I must have looked really cool.  So now I'm on someone's facebook page, but she doesn't know my name, so it doesn't really matter.  I'm just another old guy wearing a funny hat at the library. I was hoping that she would come by and ask my name, so I could say "David Schweikert."

I'm going to Tucson this weekend and I'm sure my dad and I will go to Lucky Wishbone.  The rest of my family will be sitting far away, pretending that they don't know us.  My son will eventually understand the frailties and insecurities of adulthood and he will chose his own solution, but for now it's just my father and me--Jay Gatsby and Al Capone--enjoying fried shrimp and garlic toast.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

 

 

Comments

[Logical1]

"I was at the library copying Christian CDs onto my laptop"

Come on Greg, you might be contemplating a run for office and your telling the world you do something you shouldn't. You were making back-up copies correct?

By the way, whenever my wife gives me a hard time about getting older, I put socks and sandles on... For some reason she won't let me leave the house that way though.

[Ann]

No picture...come on Greg.

[brian]

You are wearing a hat indoors? You are old enough to know better.

[muckraker]

I just reread The Great Gatsby, too. I still don't see why people call it a great American novel.

[Aaron]

I love that book! I have to be honest. Now the film is really terrible...but the book I enjoy.

[John]

He's joking Logical, just joking. That's why thinking people like reading his posts... Its irony... That's why they were Christian CDs...

[Bill]

I wish we had Lucky Wishbone in Maricopa County. Seom eegees resturants too would be nice.

[Aaron]

Lucky Wishbone---a nice instant heart attack..I miss that place.

[MK]

I concur on LW. Would love to see it pull a Bookmans and venture north.

[Chris Brewer]

Great post Greg. Its a good break from the political stuff. Your writing actually reminded me of some of the blogs that the dilbert guy Scott Adams puts out

[Karen of Scottsdale]

ROFLOL

[ExUrbanKevin]

This desire for a hat is a clear indication that you've "lived too long with a single dream."

:)

[DSW]

Great post GP! Have an Italian Grinder and Pina Colada Eegee for me while you're in Tucson.

[Wayne Gretzky]

Still no pic of you in the hat Greg? We're waiting...

[Joe G.]

I could see Greg in something like this:
http://men.style.com/news/style/041105

Stay thirsty, my friends.