As the Media Lay Dying

The few members of the fourth estate who still have jobs often use the Espresso Pundit comment section to remind me that I'm not a "real" journalist.  Rather than reply with a long dissertation of the true meaning of journalism, I would direct you to today's rambling and virtually incoherent Arizona Daily Star Editorial and ask the simple question...did someone actually go to school to write like this?  Take a moment and read the whole thing, or just enjoy this uncut sample from about the last 3rd of the editorial.  It's like judging a Bad Faulkner Contest. 

Swallow a number of recent voting irregularities across America and you have civic indigestion of an intolerable scale.

 

We regret to inform the elections staff that we Americans want what we want and we want it now. And Tucsonans are Americans — only more so.

 

Doing a pretty good job is insufficient in this democracy.

 

Those in public service must be keenly aware that the slightest perception of hanky panky makes Lady Liberty reach for the hanky because, justified or unjustified, it taints the legitimacy of the vote in the eyes of the already too cynical denizens of Pima County.

 

As of today, thank goodness, the news is good.

 

The election was Nov. 3 and the results were tallied on Tuesday the 10th, we are pleased to say, in the very same century.

 

We are delighted the discrepancy was found and, thankful that the issue was simply a procedural pratfall and not tampering.

Comments

[patti]

We regret to inform the editorial staff that we Arizonans want what we want and we want the Arizona Daily Star to close down now. More so than any time in history.

[Jim Torgeson]

Am I the only person that feels Tusconans feel they are superior to the rest of us?

See; "Tucsonans are Americans — only more so."

I saw this in the attitude of several Tucson Representatives and Senators at the Capital. This is just a query, not an indictment, so please withhold any tirades.

[Mike Modano]

Is there something in the water in Tucson? Either that or Ann Brown has been tipping back some of Grandpa's cough medicine...

[Matt]

Tucsonans has always thought they are the center of the universe and anchor point for AZ. It has only been the last few years that they stopped considering themselves a border town and accepting that S.V., Douglas, Nogales etc actually exist. Watch the TV news from Tucson and they will just about turn themselves inside out to link any national story back to Tucson.

[Richard Moreno]

Looks like they farmed this out to Pueblo High School to write. Or maybe Timothy Leary is communicating fromt he grave.

[Editor]

In the spirit of living in glass houses and not throwing stones etc you should have probably read this more carefully: "If's like judging a Bad Faulkner Contest."

[Conway]

I admit it...I love watching a good train wreck. And boys, the Star's engine is comin' off the rails. Pass the popcorn!

[Stewie]

They forgot "It was a dark and stormy night..."

[fortbuckley]

Let's see if I've got this straight: According to Matt and Jim Torgeson, because some idiot at the Star wrote "And Tucsonans are Americans — only more so," that means its safe to conclude that ALL Tucsonans have an inflated opinion of themselves?

May I now assume that the Arizona Republic's opinions and antics are simply an extention of greater Phoenix?

PHOENIX residents are accusing TUCSONANS of acting like the center of the universe? Good grief...

[Winnie]

Stewie, lol!

[Jim Torgeson]

Fortbuckley;

It's not because of what he wrote, it's indicative of what he wrote.

I've just noticed an attitude from many residents in Tucson. I was asking a question more so than stating a fact.

[BobH]

I'd consider that an okay piece of writing, if I were teaching freshman Remedial English in high school. I'd probably give the kid a B and advise him to tone down the rhetorical flourishes and strive for simplicity. Overall, though, not bad for a remedial class -- only a few major grammatical errors.

For a professional writer? Pretty sad.