Jonathan Paton has announced that he is going to run against Congresswoman Gabby Giffords and the race got off to a bizarre start when, on the night before Paton's announcement was released, the Pima County Democratic Party issued a press release alleging that Paton was finally convinced to run because he received a personal plea from George W. Bush.
The Democrats have not produced any evidence of this rather outrageous suggestion and Paton has denied that a call occurred. Bush for his part was in Washington with Bill Clinton and President Obama raising support for humanitarian relief to Haiti...so it seems pretty far fetched that he has been spending time thinking about Arizona's 8th Congressional District.
The press release is quite instructive, it not only has the feel of panic, but it also shows how the Democratic Party is going to spin the race. I've printed the actual press release and then in blue, I've added what the Party was REALLY thinking.
Paton's run for Congress reportedly pushed by former President Bush
Luis Heredia, executive director of the Arizona Democratic Party, (and former Railroad Lobbyist) offered this statement on Sen. Paton: "After months of speculation, Jonathan Paton was apparently convinced by former President George W. Bush (Dude, C.J.'s got this friend whose barber is like totally sure that he heard that Bush was on the phone in a You tube clip last week and it looked like he dialed "520" and that must mean that he's calling Tucson, so he's either calling Jim Click to buy a new Ford, or he's talking Jonathan Paton into running against Gabby) that he could challenge one of Arizona's hardest-working members of the House of Representatives. (I mean like flying to Copenhagen to have brunch with Hugo Chavez, meeting her husband at the Indy 500 and shilling on behalf of her husband's employer is like, totally exausting) "It is disturbing to learn how Jonathan reached his decision. (Of course, we have no fricking clue how he reached his decision, but George Bush--worst President in history--MUST have had something to do with it because after all, he like totally outed Valerie Plame and LIED about Iraq which is why President Obama has pulled our troops out of Iraq and closed Guantanamo...Damn.) It raises serious questions about whether he will continue to advance the failed Bush policies that resulted in greatest (sic) economic meltdown since the Great Depression. (Bush really F'd up the economy. I mean unemployment was like 6 percent and the deficit was like $400 billion...but now that the stimulus has taken effect, the Government owns General Motors, and Wall Street Billionaires--who all vote Democratic--have been protected, we got Americans working again and unemployment is down to...well, and the deficit has fallen to...Damn.) "With Jonathan Paton leading the charge, Arizonans suffered as Republican legislative leaders spent most of 2009 paralyzed by bickering and then eventually joining forces with Gov. Brewer to enact devastating cuts to our schools, universities and critical services. (Governor Napolitano managed to increase the state budget from $6 billion to $11 billion and now that the state is bankrupt some of those increases are getting unwound.) Their approach has failed, and the budget crisis is far from resolved. (yeah, he needs to accept our plan for a huge tax increase) We are surprised that Paton, (Damn right we are surprised, can't we have Bee again?) who is an entrenched part of the GOP problem at the state Capitol, (ie. part of the "majority" unlike Gabby who didn't even get to touch a gavel) feels qualified to ask voters to grant him even greater responsibilities." "Paton enters a crowded Republican primary. (Gabby is so weak and this year is going to be such a disaster that every Precinct Committeeman thinks he can take her out.) Jesse Kelly has already locked up Republican support from Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Congressman Trent Franks, and Barry Goldwater Jr. (please let her run against Jesse Kelly, please please please.)"Historically, the 8th congressional district has elected hard-working, independent leaders like Congresswoman Giffords. (Actually, the district elected Democrat Jim McNulty but then turned him out after one term and then elected Republican Jim Kolbe for the next 22 years. So the current race, you know, fits the same pattern...damn. But the reporters won't know that because they were like in elementary school then.) These voters have consistently rejected candidates like Paton, who advance partisan rhetoric over real solutions." (And when we mean "real solutions" we mean the Stimulus, the Bank Bailout and nationalized health care..you know, like the ones Gabby voted for.) ### (The end, over and out, Sianara, turn out the lights, the fat lady done sung.)