How do you discover a huge star that you can't see? Although that problem plagued scientist for years the solution was actually rather easy. Things with a huge mass--hidden stars, black holes--exert an obvious gravitational force on the surrounding objects, so when heavenly objects are not acting right, you know that they are responding to a massive and yet unseen object.
That's how I know that Jan Brewer isn't running for Governor.
I'm not part of Brewer's solar system, but I can see it and I can tell you that the political planets--heavy weight Republican lobbyists, consultants and candidates--are not in proper orbit. I don't think that they actually know that Brewer isn't going to run, but too many of them are drifting ever so slightly out of her orbit. There is an unseen force acting on them and that unseen force is the knowledge--or at least the suspicion--that she's not going to be on the 2010 ballot.
There's too much chatter about Ken Bennett and Mary Peters. A-Team lobbyists and consultants are making private calls backing alternative scenarios and they are doing so with impunity. The inner planets are not responding the way they would respond if Brewer was exerting the gravitational pull that one would expect an incumbent governor to exert.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the planets will shift back into orbit, the tides will return to normal, the sun and moon will align the way they should, Republican lobbyists will start circulating her petitions and planning fundraisors---but at the moment, things are not as they should be.
The moon, the stars, and the planets are indeed coming into alignment. They haven't been aligned like this since Nancy Reagan's astrologist was in charge of the White House.
It won't be Ken Bennett. It won't be Mary Peters.
It's Sarah Palin.
She's on her way to AZ to launch her "This time I want to run a real state" campaign. She's decided to distinguish herself by being the first female governor of two different states. "Sort of, you know, like that guy who played baseball and football both, like, you, Bo what was his name," Sarah told the Associated Press.
Why Arizona? The climate and an open governor's office was all it took. "I'm tired of all this snow," she told Katie Couric. "I like hot and dry and those little lizard things and even those little piggy creatures that run around in the desert down there. They're like you know just so cute and so real American."
The political climate also has its advantages. "I heard all about that alternative gas business you all had going on down there awhile back," Sarah said. "You know where the guy in the legislature let his business partners write a bill and they robbed something like two or three hundred million out of the state treasury and like no one even got indicted, forget about going to jail. These Alaskan folks are all hung up about this ethics stuff. Arizona sounds like the real America and a real frontier state. Is it against the law to rob a bank there?"
She went on to diss Alaska even further: "This whole state just reeks of oil money and it's just about floating in pork fat from the federal government. Heck anybody could run this place. Arizona's got a three billion dollar budget deficit and no oil. Now that's a real state with a real problem in the real America. I want the tough job with the tough decisions."
Her plan to fix the deficit? Offshore drilling. When Katie Couric quietly mentioned that Arizona has no shoreline, Sarah was well prepared with her answer this time. "You thought I didn't know that, didn't you Katie? Of course I knew that. As commander in chief of the Arizona National Guard, I'll order an immediate nuclear strike on California. They've got weapons of mass destruction. The British government recently learned that Arnold Swartzenhogger sought significant quantities of uranium in Nevada. We'll bomb the whole state till it's under water, then start the offshore drilling immediately. Drill, baby, drill."
Senator McCain's office had no comment.
Posted by: Cappuccino in Chief | July 26, 2009 at 10:03 PM
Guvnor Sarah will just love it here! Does she know we now allow guns in bars?
Posted by: Proud Publican | July 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Anyone listen to John Munger speak? Powerful. Also, former president of the Board of Regents.
Posted by: Falcon9 | July 27, 2009 at 01:29 AM
I said this back in February - she has no intention of running again - she can be as 'unpopular' as she needs to be - and she can go back and be a full-time grandma.
Posted by: ron | July 27, 2009 at 12:13 PM
I do not understand how you guys can say she is not running... After holding public office for 25 years she reaches the top of AZ politics and she is just going to give it up without a fight? I think she would have to be nuts to do that. She will be 66 by the election day next year.
What would she do after that if she just left? She would have no future in politics anymore. So to me she is done for sure if she walks away. Why not stay and fight it out? She really has nothing to lose at this point.
I think this like some of Gregs recent predictions (i.e.predicting Giffords and Mitchell would lose around this time last year) are just wrong.
Posted by: Johnny | July 27, 2009 at 12:54 PM
Johnny,
I don't think she ever expected to be governor - which is why folks need to think twice about who they vote for SOS - as this state seems to have made habit out of SOSs getting to the 9th floor without having to actually run for it.
Posted by: ron | July 27, 2009 at 06:01 PM
Greg,
You're right about this. Oh, she can SAY she'll run, but she'll have no support from the King (or Queen) Makers.
Palin?...lol. Only if she can field dress a Javalina.
Posted by: Cary | July 27, 2009 at 07:48 PM
Ron,
Exactly she never expected to be Governor and now she is just going to give it up?!?! The job that she didnt think she would be able to attain and she did. A career politician just doesn't give that up willingly it makes no sense.
She may very well go down in a primary but I don't think there is anyway she just doesn't run.
Posted by: Johnny | July 28, 2009 at 01:28 PM